..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
