Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize