'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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