No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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