He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
