So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
