didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
you will always have a special place in my vag
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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