Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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