1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
