Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
