Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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