Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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