I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
