He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
