I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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