He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
