Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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