operation have a gay friend backfired
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
