I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize