problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
