And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
