dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
