if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
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