how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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