He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
If I had your ass I would rule the world
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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