if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
