I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
