I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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