kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Randomize
