apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
