no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
