is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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