Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I would fuck him just for his dog
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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