Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
