Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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