forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
