I wish i was in the wii world.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Randomize
