Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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