Banned from zoo.
Again?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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