Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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