I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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