would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
