I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
