I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
