whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
