you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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