Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize