How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize
