one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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