So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize