She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
