I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
