really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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