we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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