**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize