Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
