you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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