i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
wow bdsm is so cute
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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