i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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