Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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