just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
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