sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you have to choose: penises or morals?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
