Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
