oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize