This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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