During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize