Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Randomize
