just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
